Of Love and Sorrow
by Tearlit
Summary: A series of unconnected drabbles and short pieces about the relationship or lack thereof of Amon and Robin. Rated for safety and future chapters.
1. Betrayal

Disclaimer - I don't own it.

A/N – This is being written for the Ships 50 Live Journal community; as there are 50 prompts, there will be 50 chapters. Thanks to teenelizabeth for letting me use her formatting of song quotes. She has some truly amazing stories – go check them out!

* * *

_..._

_You are the brick – I am so unpredictable, led by the current away. _

_-_ Echo by The Hush Sound

...

All around her the flames roared.

_What am I doing?_

_**What you must.**_

_No...it isn't right._

_**Isn't it?**_

Silence.

_**Just one more...go on...he'll never know. **_

_He knows everything._

_**Not anymore. Please...you must...**_

_No..._

_**Release us...had you rather it be him? His screams you hear? His flesh you smell burning?**_

_No! I won't let you!_

_**You can't stop us, can't control us, can't contain us. Light it!**_

Robin whimpered.

* * *

Amon woke, cold and alone in the double bed. His head was heavy, thoughts muddled.

_She drugged me._

He made his way to the window.

All around him the city was burning.


	2. So Close

Disclaimer – Not mine.

A/N – Make my day…review!

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_..._

_Oh, love, I've had enough of you tonight. _

The Artist by The Hush Sound

...

He was suffocating, smothering. Lungs were not able to draw in an ample supply of air so that he could function normally. Body could not transport enough oxygen to his brain to control his thinking, to make him rational. To tell him to stop before he shoved her away, yelled at her, stormed from the room...

He heard Robin dimly through the door, sobbing softly, calling his name, apologizing repeatedly, but he was breathing easily now, and it felt good. She was always there, day after day, night after night, leaning on him, depending on him for safety, for survival, and he was so tired. Her questions wore on him – _When are we leaving Japan, Amon? Where are we going next, Amon?_ He had no idea, but she didn't care – she expected him to know everything, to be her protector, her savior, her keeper, her warden, her lover... He _was_ all these things, but now...he just couldn't take it.

Amon leaned against the door, taking deep breaths, listening as her sobs turned to hiccups and then to silence. Pressing an ear to the door he checked for her breathing – soft and even. He sighed in relief before slipping back inside.


	3. Affection

Disclaimer - Not mine.

A/N - And here is the third installment. I spent all day on this one, amazingly enough. Let me know what you think!

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_..._

_You've been the only thing that's right in all I've done._

Run by Snow Patrol

...

Amon knelt by the head of the bed, watching the sleeping girl intently. She shifted a bit, strands of hair falling over her face, and, with the barest of touches, he swept the locks back to fan out over the pillow.

_I shouldn't care about you._

She began to fret – adamantly shaking her head and reaching out desperately to something he could not see, until, finally, her lips parted in a shriek of "_No!_" and her emerald eyes flew open. Robin sprang into an upright position, nearly falling from the bed in the process, and ended up perched precariously on the edge, gasping for breath. She looked about wildly and Amon reached up, cupping her face between his hands.

"Robin."

Her eyes focused on him and her breathing slowed. A blush colored her cheeks - she tried to pull away, nearly falling once more.

"I'm sorry," she murmured, turning her body slightly and placing her feet on the ground.

Amon stood slowly and his hands slid from her cheeks, fingertips trailing along her neck to her shoulders, continuing to trace a path down her arms until he grasped her hands in his own. He entwined his fingers with hers, eyes never leaving the young woman's face. The blush had faded and she gazed at him, uncertainty in her eyes. He pulled her to her feet, untangled his hands from hers, and extended his arms in an inviting gesture.

Oh so hesitantly, she took a small step forward and moved into his embrace. He wrapped his arms tight around her as she rested her head on his shoulder, arms snaking around his back. He stroked her hair until she pulled away and looked up at him, eyes still unsure and slightly confused.

Amon leaned down and placed a kiss on her forehead, each cheekbone, the tip of her nose, and, finally, his lips found hers and brushed against them softly. She returned the kiss, using the same hesitancy with which it was given, and, this time, when he stared into her eyes the uncertainty was gone, replaced by a soft emotion he could not give a name to.

Robin smiled up at him and placed a delicate hand against his cheek – Amon leaned into the touch, closing his eyes.

_But I do._


	4. Life

Disclaimer - Not mine.

A/N - Thanks to teenelizabeth for making sure Muse hadn't run away with me (again.) This is for prompt #2 - Life. (Prompt name can also be found in the chapter name.) Make my day...review!

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…

_Stay with me, you're the one that I need. You make the hardest things seem easy. _

Drugs or Me by Jimmy Eat World

…

Amon strode purposefully through the small house, first locking the doors and windows, and then double-checking them. He retraced his steps amid the glow of the setting sun and peered out each window, checking for any movement outside, before tugging down the blinds and pulling the curtains tightly shut. He finished with the last one just as dusk came fully upon the world and made his way down the hall to his bedroom.

The man slipped in quietly so as to not wake the woman who lay dozing in the bed, but as he eased to sit, oh so carefully, on the edge of the mattress her eyes opened, a small smile gracing her lips. She reached up, smoothing two fingers along Amon's forehead and down the bridge of his nose, erasing the worry lines she found there.

"I'm fine, Amon," she whispered.

He glowered.

She changed tactics. "There hasn't been a hunter in years. Why do you still do the checks every night?"

"The night I stop will be the night they come." His voice softened. "Do you need anything?"

"No, truly, I'm fine. I know I don't look it, but I am."

He placed a hand against her cheek and she leaned into it. "Sometimes…" he began.

"Yes?" she prompted.

"Sometimes I still think of you how you were when we first met. Fifteen. Just a child."

She smiled. "I've known you as long as I haven't known you now."

He nodded. "There were times I never thought we would live this long…never thought I would live to see forty."

"But you have."

"You know I love you."

It was not a question but she nodded in affirmation anyway. She moved to sit up, wincing a bit.

"You are positive you are all right?"

She smiled, curling a small bundled object close to her chest. "I'm positive, Amon. Besides, women have babies all the time."


	5. Questions

Disclaimer - Not mine.

* * *

_..._

_Is it you I want, or just a notion of a heart to wrap around so I can find my way around?_

Rain by Breaking Benjamin

...

Love. It was not something he thought about often, not something he had ever desired, or really felt a need for. Or at least that's what he liked to tell himself. From an early age he had learned that love only caused pain and sorrow and misery. He had vowed to lock his heart away, and Amon felt that he had succeeded. So, if he neither needed nor desired love, then why couldn't he walk away from her now?

Yes, he had been with women in the past, but there had never been love present. Hell, there was barely even any affection. He used them to fill a need, and they knew that and understood it. They never asked more of him, but Robin...she was not like those women. She saw things in him, brought out things in him that no one else ever had and it made him uncomfortable.

He knew she wanted more from him, deserved more...and he wanted her to have it, he knew that much. What he did not know was _why_. If he was honest with himself, he didn't even know what exactly it was she wanted from him; he only knew that whatever it was he longed to indulge her. Did she want a father figure? A brother? A lover? Could he be any of those things? What were his feelings for her? Did he love her? Could he? No...no, he didn't love her...and didn't think he ever could. His heart was far too closed off for that. But he wanted her to be happy, to have what she wanted, and surely that counted for something.


	6. Answers

Disclaimer - Not mine.

A/N- Companion to Questions.

Thanks to teenelizabeth for listening to me whine mercilessly about Amon's lack of cooperation.

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...

_Goodness knows I saw it coming, or at least I'll claim I did, but in truth I'm lost for words. _

Chocolate by Snow Patrol

...

Love. It weighed on Amon's mind more and more now. He was always contemplating it, pondering it, trying to deduce exactly what it was. Was it present in the smile playing about Robin's lips? The soft way with which she said his name? The tenderness in her touch as she placed a hand on his arm? Was that it shining out of her green eyes now? The look of naked adoration was plain to decipher, but the emotions in her eyes...those were harder. It was times like these he had no idea what to do with her.

Even more difficult to decipher were his own feelings. Why did he delight in her happiness? Why did he go out of his way to make her eyes light up, to make her smile, to give her whatever she wanted? Why did he wake at all hours to comfort her, to hold her as she drifted back to sleep after a nightmare? It was times like these he had no idea what to do with himself.

"I love you, Amon."

The words, whispered softly like a prayer, caught him off guard, and he merely stared at her as they sank in. She smiled up at him, asking nothing in return – he knew she did not expect him to reply. As he stared down into her eyes it was as if a fog lifted, and everything became a bit clearer.

_Perhaps I did not lock my heart away so tightly as I thought. _

He pulled her close, wrapping his arms around her waist and resting a cheek against her hair, thinking the words he could not yet bring himself to say.

_I love you, too._


	7. Choice

Disclaimer - Not mine!

A/N - Well here is a nice long one at 1,336 words. The rating has now been bumped to M for this chapter and future ones. Make my day...review!

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...

_I'll tear myself away – that is what you need._

Ashes and Wine by A Fine Frenzy

...

Amon stood in the doorway to the bathroom, a silent, stoic presence as he watched Robin by the tub. She was wrapped in a heavy robe, but he could visibly see her shivering. His eyes narrowed as she dipped her hand into the heavily steaming water and pulled it away, her head drooping in dismay. He took a step forward as she turned a bit, showing him the spark of flame in her eyes; the water in the tub began to bubble. A smile came over her face and she slipped the robe to the ground, raising one dainty foot toward the water. Amon lunged forward and grabbed her arm, pulling her away.

He suppressed a gasp – her skin was like ice. She struggled, and now he could see the tears rolling down her face.

"Amon...what...?"

Her breathing was coming in gasps now and her eyes were wild, panicked, as she flailed about, trying to reach the tub. He clutched her to him, and after a moment her struggles ceased and she began to sob, gripping his shirt. After a few moments she pulled away, but the tears still poured down her face and her eyes were anguished.

Amon checked the temperature of the water with his hand before letting a bit of it out and turning on the cool tap. When he was satisfied she would not be scalded he said, "You can get in now."

She nodded forlornly.

"May I?" he asked.

She nodded as she moved toward the tub and eased her shivering body into the water. The man's clothes soon joined her robe on the floor and he slipped into the over sized tub behind her, settling down and pulling her back to lean against his chest. He was glad to see that her skin had warmed slightly, but she still shivered and her breathing remained irregular. He placed two fingertips against her neck to feel her pulse – it was much too fast.

_She's in shock._

"Everything will be fine, Robin," he soothed, running his hands up and down her arms.

She craned her neck to look up at him. "Don't lie," she choked out.

Amon wrapped his arms around her waist, sliding down until only her head was not submerged in the water. He checked her pulse again, sighing in relief when he discovered it has slowed moderately. Her breath was no longer coming in gasps, and the hot water was succeeding in offering some bit of warmth to her pale skin.

She took a shuddering breath, but he cut her off. "You didn't mean to, Robin."

"I know!" she wailed. "I didn't mean to and that...that is exactly the problem."

"You've been overzealous before."

"A team of eight, Amon. A team of eight is dead, no, _incinerated_, because of me."

"They were trying to kill you."

"Why are you defending my actions?"

He was silent.

_Because I cannot kill you. Not even if you need me to._

"I lost control," she whispered mournfully. "I killed them and some part of me _liked it._ I want to burn something else, to see it disappear in a burst of flame that I created. I saw terror in those Hunters eyes and I enjoyed it...want to see it again."

"Be quiet, Robin."

"Silence won't make it better, Amon. Please...would you...?"

"What are you trying to ask?"

"Keep your promise. The one you made so many years ago."

"I am not convinced you are out of control. Those weren't the first you've killed while we've been running."

"They were the first to die when I didn't purpose it. You had the car waiting, all I had to do was get in. They weren't even shooting at us by then. We had a clean escape, and I torched them all. Please, please, Amon," she wept.

"If I wanted you dead I would have let you boil yourself alive earlier. If the time ever comes when I am completely convinced you are out of control, I will keep my promise."

Amon stood and stepped out of the tub, drying himself with a towel; Robin quickly followed suit. He took her hand and led her to the bedroom; she crawled under the covers and he threw an extra quilt on the bed before joining her. The man curled close and wrapped his arms around her, she pressed her face to his chest.

"I..."

"Yes, Amon?"

He shook his head. She looked up at him, a knowing expression in her eyes.

"I love you, Amon."

He stared into her eyes, willing her, as always, to understand.

_You've been on the run with her for seven years now and you still can't tell her how you feel. Coward._

"I know," he breathed, capturing her lips in a kiss.

Her hands began to trail along his body and he grabbed them.

"What are you doing, Robin?"

"Please...I want you." Her green eyes plead with him, tears still shimmering there, and he gave in, releasing her.

She pushed him gently on his back and straddled him, resting her weight on his lower stomach before leaning in and pressing her lips to his. The kiss was passionate, but unhurried and his hands slid along her thighs before moving upward and tracing patterns on her back. She raised up, running her petite hands along his chest and arms, studying him with a look on her face he could not decipher. Robin continued to kiss and caress him with a quiet intensity she had never displayed before, and something about it unnerved him.

He moaned and tugged at her lower lip gently with his teeth as she slid over him until he was buried inside her. The woman began moving her hips in the slow circles she knew he favored, and soon their breaths came in gasps. He opened his eyes to find her watching him, an unfamiliar determination in her eyes, and suddenly he realized what was wrong.

_She's saying goodbye. _

He moved his hands to her hips, to pull her away, to force her to stop, but then he saw the unashamed pleading in her eyes, and his hands dropped away.

"Amon?" she whispered against his lips, voice trembling,. A tear dripped to land on his cheek, trailing along as if his eye were the one to release it.

He sighed, brushing his lips along hers and returning his hands to caress her form. She returned to her ministrations and soon had him gasping once more. She kissed him hungrily as he finished and then slipped away to curl against his side.

"You didn't..."

"No. I didn't want to," she said quietly.

She curled closer and began stroking her fingers through his hair, pulling him until his head was pressed against her chest.

"Robin..." he whispered.

"Shh."

"You are still in control, Robin."

She nodded, pacifying him. He pulled back until he could gaze into her eyes.

"Don't do this."

"I must," she replied.

"Why?"

"You can't do it for me. I think I knew all along that it would have to be me."

"Stop this, Robin."

"How many more must die before you are satisfied I'm losing control?" she asked sadly.

Amon looked away.

She trailed fingertips down his face and he turned once more to look at her. The shivering was back.

"I have to. If I turned on you... It would be unforgivable."

His eyes hardened. "What you are doing now is unforgivable."

Her lip began to tremble. "Amon..."

He rolled away from her, staring at a spot on the opposite wall. "Don't do this, Robin."

She curled against his back, burying her face in his shoulder blades and he could feel her tears flowing along his skin. The woman wrapped an arm around him and he grabbed her hand, squeezing tightly. Amon drifted to sleep with Robin molded against him, his fingers entwined tightly with hers, satisfied that she would change her mind.

He awoke only to be proven wrong. Robin was gone.


	8. Come Undone

* * *

Disclaimer - Not mine.

A/N - Thanks to Teenelizabeth for hearing me whine about this and helping me keep the characters (hopefully) in character. I'm rather unsure of this one, so let me know what you think please!

* * *

...

_Just because I'm sorry doesn't mean I didn't enjoy it at the time..._

Chocolate by Snow Patrol

...

Robin stared intently at Amon, who studiously ignored her. Teeth captured her lower lip and brows knit together, eyes narrowing. She took in a deep breath, standing taller and opening her mouth as if she would speak, but then her entire countenance sagged and the girl let out a gusty sigh.

"What is it, Robin?" Amon snapped.

"Nothing," she replied morosely, staring down at the floor and fidgeting with her voluminous skirts.

He glared at her a moment before returning to cleaning his weapons. The girl continued to fidget and sigh until he slammed the knife down upon the table and fixed her with a glacier like stare.

"What?" he growled, expression more irritated than she had ever seen.

"Why don't you ever smile?" she squeaked.

He blinked at her a moment and then turned away, picking the knife up again.

"Or laugh? I've never heard you laugh," she persisted, almost desperately.

"We are not discussing how I express my moods, Robin. If you wish to see smiles and hear laughter go into the bathroom and entertain yourself in front of the mirror."

The young woman bowed her head and slunk across the room, curling up on her bed with her back to her surly guardian.

Oh, Amon, why can't I make you happy? I've tried so many things…

Robin thought of the times she had lay down extra early and pretended to sleep because he would never go out for a drink while she was awake. The times she had remained silent for days, until she thought her voice would vanish from disuse, because he thrived on silence. The nights when they couldn't find a hotel, she stayed up to keep watch so he could catch a few hours sleep in the car. The dinners she had fixed for him the few times they had found a place with a small kitchen. The jokes she had told and the stories and poems she read to him to pass the time. Not once had he smiled, or laughed, or acted at all like he was glad to have her there.

_Why should he be glad I'm here? I've ruined his life. If it weren't for me he would still be with Solomon and the STN. He would not be on the run, staying at a new place each night… He is stuck with me, constantly running, never at rest, never happy, until I finally lose control. Why did I agree to let him be my guardian? I am so selfish…_

Robin drifted to sleep, a mantra of negative thoughts flowing through her head.

* * *

Amon watched the girl from the corner of his eye; she had been extremely subdued, almost morose, for days now, but he had to admit that he rather liked this side of her. Her constantly trying to draw him out of his self and engage him in conversation tired him. He neither needed nor desired conversation; he simply wanted to be left alone. Though, however much he liked her silence, he could not help but be worried by it.

As the days passed she began using her craft more and more, lighting candles for no reason, burning bits of rubbish, making sparks dance in the air in front of her. He watched her with narrowed eyes, but there was no panic there, no feverish gleam to her eye, no malevolent nature about her that he had seen with countless others, with his mother, with Kate…

What are you playing at?

He cursed as flames began to crawl over the small round table she was sitting at, and leapt up, tugging the blanket from the end of the bed as he went. Robin had not risen, but instead sat entranced, watching the flames with a smile on her face. Her right hand lay face up on the surface and small, ice blue flames danced and swayed on her palm. Amon forcibly removed her from the chair and tossed her away from the table. She gasped as her concentration wavered and the flames began to consume her hand, inching their way up her sleeve. Ignoring her, Amon smacked at the fire with the blanket – as soon as the flames had been vanquished the blanket disintegrated in a flash of fire, leaving nothing behind but ash.

Amon spun to find Robin kneeling on the ground glaring furiously at him – her right hand was blistered and part of her sleeve had been burned away, the flesh he could see there was blistered as well, and tinged with black. The Hunter saw the spark flare in her eyes before tendrils of flame began to lick at the carpet; a beatific smile graced her face as she turned her gaze to it. He stomped it with his boot, effectively extinguishing the flames, and she cried out in frustration, rising to her feet.

"Stop it, Robin!" he ordered.

Tears began to trickle down her face. "I can't," she whispered, eyes drifting away and suddenly the table flared once, a brilliant orange, before disintegrating into a pile of ash, much as the blanket had before it. He grabbed her by the shoulders and shook her gently.

"Yes, you can."

Her eyes roamed, refusing to focus on him and the disconcerting smile was back as flames crept up the curtains.

_She knows everything she's doing._

He clamped her chin in a vice like grip between his thumb and forefinger, turning her to look at him. When her eyes continued to wander, he placed one hand against either cheek and lowered his face until the tip of his nose brushed hers. Her breathing was shallow, the smile long faded, but her eyes were aware, confirming his suspicions.

"What the hell are you playing at, you insolent child?" he hissed.

Her lips trembled. "Amon, please."

"Please, what?" he asked, voice scorching her as surely as the flames had previously.

"Finish it, keep your promise," she whimpered.

"You are not a danger…yet."

"But…"

There was desperation in her gaze as she tore her eyes away from his once more – the light bulbs shattered, glass fragments falling in their hair and covering the carpet. Mere heartbeats later the bed, too, disappeared in a burst of flame. Amon's hands moved to grip her upper arms and he shook the girl so hard that her head snapped back and she cried out.

"Amon, please!"

He pulled her against him, until his face was mere inches from hers. "I have seen countless Witches lose control," he hissed, voice deathly quiet. "Both from near and far. You cannot fool me."

She closed her eyes to escape the ferocity of his gaze.

"What are you playing at?" he screamed, and she jumped attempting to pull away, but there was nowhere for her to go - he gripped her too tightly.

Tears began to roll down her face. "I can't make you happy! I've tried and tried and I've ruined your life! I want you to kill me, so I'll stop being a burden on you."

He stiffened and shoved her away so abruptly that she nearly fell, his eyes flashed and his lips formed a thin line. She moved toward him, reaching out – his face was chalk white. Before she could react, his hand drew back, and, with lightning speed, he had struck her across the cheek – Robin tumbled to the ground, too shocked to even cry out.

She stared up at him, eyes impossibly wide, as he advanced upon her and grabbed her charred wrist, ignoring her cry of pain as he tugged her forcibly to an upright position.

"Do you think killing is easy for me, Robin?" he whispered, more emotion in his voice now than she had ever heard before. "Do you think I would enjoy putting a bullet in your head? Be happy watching the life drain from your eyes?"

She nodded. "You would be free."

"A year being in my constant company and you know nothing of me," he seethed. "How far would you go, to convince me you had lost control? Would you kill someone? Kill me? Would you burn the building to the ground with everyone inside? Would you let your own misperceptions of the world, and of happiness, turn you prematurely into a Witch?"

She hesitated, confusion in her eyes, and he shoved her away forcefully – once more she tumbled to the ground. This time he stalked from the room, slamming the door behind him, leaving the girl sobbing on the floor.

* * *

Amon returned some time later after taking a long walk throughout the city. At first he thought the hotel room was empty, but then he saw Robin huddled between the wall and the nightstand. He grabbed their bags from beside his bed and motioned for her to follow him – she didn't move.

"We are leaving, now," he murmured, steel in his voice.

She stood to her feet and followed him without a word – he noticed that she was trembling. Instead of riding shotgun, Robin crawled into the backseat, cradling her right hand to her chest, and curled into as small a ball as possible as far away from Amon as she could get. They drove in silence for hours, until he finally pulled into the parking lot of a hotel.

"Stay here."

He returned a few moments later with a key and she hesitantly followed him into the hotel through a side door and to their room.

"Try not to destroy this one," he said wryly, dropping their bags to the ground before moving casually to stand in front of the doorway to the bathroom.

Her eyes widened once she saw he was blocking her planned means of escaping him, and, after a moment's hesitation, she lunged across the room and slid to the ground between the bed and wall. He turned on all of the lights and studied her in the sudden brilliance of the room – her hand and much of her forearm were a deep red and covered in fluid filled blisters. Her green eyes were swollen and red and, there, on her left cheek, was a perfect imprint of his fingers done in a mixture of deep red and dark purple. He rummaged in his bag until he brought forth a first aid kit; as he approached her she flinched.

"You wanted me to kill you and you flinch after that?" he asked coldly.

Tears trailed down her cheeks once more and a sob escaped her. Shame filled him, but he ignored it.

You're supposed to be her protector, and this is how you treat her?

"Give me your hand," he said, sinking down to sit in front of her.

She clutched the injured appendage tighter to her chest and he grabbed high on her forearm, above the burn, and pulled it toward him. She whimpered as he smeared salve on the burns and wrapped it in clean white gauze.

"You haven't ruined my life," he said quietly, all the venom from before gone from his voice.

She pulled her newly bandaged hand to her chest and said nothing. Amon's eyes were glued to the swelling and discoloration that he had cause - he reached out to her and she pulled away from him, eyes wide. In the glaring light he saw light bruises along her chin where he had gripped it. The man stood and moved across the room, tossing her bag on the bed nearest her.

"Get ready for bed."

She stood and, turning her back to him, removed her dress to leave her standing in just a sleeveless slip that she normally slept in. He saw more bruises on her upper arms where he had grabbed her.

Remorse gripped him. "Robin…"

She turned haunted green eyes to him, and, when he did not speak, slipped under the covers, putting her back to him.

* * *

Robin slept fitfully and woke early, aching and throbbing from her various injuries. Amon was awake, watching her and looking very much as if he hadn't slept at all. She froze, breath catching in her throat as he moved toward her – but the blazing fury that had been present the night before was gone now.

"I'm sorry!" she choked out. "I never should have burned those things, it was…irresponsible of me."

"Yes, it was, but your motives were…sound enough. You have no need to apologize. How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine," she replied. The girl had yet to meet his gaze. He perched on the edge of her bed and, though she stiffened, she neither pulled away nor made a sound. The fear was tangible in her eyes.

His fingertips traced, feather light, over the bruises and she could see shame and regret in his normally icy gray eyes. He met her gaze with his own and in their eyes each discerned things that the other could not bring themselves to utter – that what had happened was wrong, that they were each sorry, that neither would test the other like that again.

She nodded, silently accepting his apology, and gasped in shock as his lips turned upwards and his entire face was transformed by a miniscule, but very real, smile.


	9. Beautiful

Disclaimer - Not mine.

A/N - And now for a commercial break from angst with...a nice fluffy drabble! YAY!

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…

_Green eyes, how could anybody deny you?_

Green Eyes by Coldplay

…

He cradled her cheeks between his palms as his lips moved against hers – soft, gentle, unhurried. His steel gray eyes were open wide, and, as he pulled back a fraction of an inch, effectively breaking the kiss, her lids parted and she stared at him in hopeful wonder.

Amon's fingertips traced, feather light, over the contours of her face, but his gaze was glued to those green eyes… He was not thinking about how seventeen was not so much better than sixteen, or about how his behavior did not match his title. Instead, one word filtered through this mind – _beautiful_…


	10. Selfless

Disclaimer - Not mine!

A/N - And the commercial break is over. Though this one isn't too terribly angsty. Thanks to Mycha for giving me really useful tips on occasion, and to Teenelizabeth for cheering me on and always being willing to help me when I need it. Both of them have some really great stories! Go check them out!

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_Right here, underneath my wing, you can rest your head._

Citizen Soldier by 3 Doors Down

…

Amon kept moving, because that is all he has ever known. You don't stop, even when the pain steals your breath, even when the fatigue in your muscles attempts to drag you to the ground. _You don't stop._ And he didn't.

Amon did not leave the girl behind after the collapse of the Factory because you don't abandon your partner for any reason. You pull her along when she whimpers with every step; you carry her when she passes out from the injuries she has sustained. It is not every man for himself, even when instinct says it should be. _You watch out for your partner._ And he did.

Amon hid the girl the first night because you honor your word, whether you want to or not. You look after her; even when everything within you screams for you to call the STN, or else put a bullet in her brain now. But you don't because you promised to be her protector, her guardian, her warden. _You honor your word._ And he did.

Amon tended her wounds first because that is how he was taught. You always place the welfare of others before you, even when you hate them for it. Even when remaining upright is a chore. You clean and bandage her wounds and cover the still unconscious girl with a blanket. Then you can bandage your own wounds. Then you can collapse into sleep. _You never put yourself first._ And he didn't.


	11. Drama

Disclaimer - Not mine. Nope. Nope. Nope.

A/N - Thanks to Teenelizabeth for inspiration on one of the characters - if I said who it would ruin it. I'm also pondering a companion to this that is in the style of chapter 10. We shall see. Reviews are good...

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_I swore I could feel you breathe, it was all so real to me. _

Don't Wake Me Up by The Hush Sound

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_The darkness was suffocating – Amon couldn't move, couldn't speak, could only stare straight ahead at Robin's bed and the door just behind it. He cursed himself for giving in and allowing her to sleep closest to the door as dread and terror poured over him in waves. Robin slept on peacefully as the door creaked open, admitting a slender Witch. _

_The man gasped mentally as he recognized her. The woman's dark hair was pulled back in a familiar messy bun, and he fought a desire to go to her, to pull the ribbon out and watch it fall around her face, to tangle his fingers in it and pull her to him, to press his lips to hers… _

_She looked at him harshly then, withering his thoughts with a glare every bit as stern as the one he often bestowed upon others. As she pulled him from his fantasy with a look, he remembered why there had never been friendship or trust between them. He remembered why he had always shoved his emotions down, why he had never confided his feelings to her on any of the numerous nights they had shared. Her eyes bore into his and a pang of regret went through him – he had forgotten the exact shape of her eyes, the way they so often mirrored his own… She smiled, then, and a chill went through him._

_Robin began to scream._

Amon gasped, lurching upright and reaching for his gun as he blinked about in confusion. Robin rolled towards him and, wrapping her fingers around his forearm, tugged gently until he slumped back onto the bed. The young woman pulled him close until his head was pressed to her chest, and she clumsily stroked his hair.

"It's all right, Amon. I'm right here. I'm fine," she murmured, voice heavy with sleep.

He clutched her to him, breathing heavily, and ran his hands lightly over her as if to make certain she was not an apparition.

"Kate's dead, Amon," she whispered, words slurring slightly. "You killed her."

He nodded, curling closer to her, and listened as her breathing evened out once more. His eyes drifted shut but _her _face swam there, and he clenched them, forcing Robin's face to come to mind. For a moment the image behind his eyelids was lovely, serene, but then it contorted into something ugly, into what Kate would turn her into if she ever got hold of her. Amon's eyes sprang open then and he pulled away from her, rising to a sitting position before gently pulling the sleeping girl into his lap.

* * *

Robin stirred and blinked awake to find herself curled in Amon's lap; she turned and looked up to find him watching her, dark circles clearly visible under his eyes.

"Oh, Amon," she sighed, reaching up to brush her fingertips along his cheek.

"I'm fine," he replied tersely.

She gently slid out of his lap to sit beside him and touched his arm. The man slumped forward suddenly, placing his head in her lap. Robin stroked his hair and closed her eyes, praying silently.

"Why didn't you wake me? I would have stayed up with you."

"You need your rest."

"So do you," she countered.

"I'm fine, Robin," he snapped, abruptly pulling away and stalking into the bathroom.

"No, Amon, you are not," she voiced softly.


	12. Serenity

Disclaimer - Not mine.

A/N - This has been sitting around for a while so I thought I would finish it today. The companion to Drama is in progress and will show up...eventually.

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_Now I'm finally where I belong..._

This is Home by Switchfoot

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They hardly spoke anymore, but the silence was not a strained one - there was no sense of awkwardness or tension, only the knowledge that there was nothing to say. What good would it do to break the silence with idle chatter?

The couple moved about the small European flat with the grace and ease of familiarity – each knew where the other would be and what they would be doing. If one brushed against the other it was because they chose to. This is the product of years together.

Their routine was flawless, almost boring in its normalcy, but they both relished knowing where they would be, what they would do, when they would eat, and sleep and work. After years of running the stability of a solid routine was as water would be to a parched man in the desert.

The man and woman had formed a language of touch, of glances – one quirked eyebrow and a half smile could convey more than a hundred spoken words, a gentle embrace said what no language ever could. So the silence held. And held. Until to break it with something so crude as the utterance from a tongue seemed almost obscene.

It might have bothered some people, but to Amon and Robin, the silence now told of one thing – _home_.


	13. Agony

Disclaimer - Nope, sorry.

A/N - Well this is a bit of a different route. Let me know what you think. Possible companion-ishy thingy piece in the works.

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_Days pass and this emptiness fills my heart._

In Your Eyes by Peter Gabriel

…

What if…should have…if only…these statements were foreign, alien, unwelcome in Amon's mind, but he could not be rid of them. They had filtered in, taken root and were slowly consuming his thoughts. He threw back another shot and tipped the bottle to refill the glass, only to realize it was empty. Again.

The man growled, throwing the offensive object across the room to shatter against the wall before moving to lie on the bed. He buried his face in the pillow, but it did not stop the images from playing across the backs of his eyelids, did not stop the thundering crashes, the screams, or the gasps of breath from echoing in his ears.

Her face swam to the front of his mind, not as it normally was, filled with open trust and infatuation, pinched with annoyance at some remark he had made to her, or thoughtful as she focused on a job. No, it was none of these things, but instead pinched with pain, covered in soot and blood and filled with a dreaded certainty. The green eyes were not hopeful and curious, but were rather filled with tears and misery. Then, her labored breath ceased, eyes closed and she sank a bit into the rubble, blood dribbling from her lips.

Amon practically leapt from the bed at this last image, reaching clumsily for his coat and stumbling to the door. He needed something, anything, to dull the pain.

Later, as he worked his way through two more bottles, the same thought floated repeatedly through his mind, becoming slower and slower and slower, until it finally ceased to be.

_If only I hadn't gotten Karasuma out first..._


	14. Despair

Disclaimer - Not mine.

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_Sometimes the hardest thing is the right thing all the same_

The Fray

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He stared at the girl clutched in his arms, bound and struggling. He did not want to do this…could not do this….but he must.

"Amon, please!" she cried.

"You lost control and killed once. It will happen again."

"No, please…"

He stared down into her green eyes, still frantic with need, the spark buried just under the surface and knew she lied. The man drew his gun and as she saw it the girl went limp in his arms, no longer struggling, and tears dripped slowly down her cheeks. He couldn't do it.

He pictured the sound, just a muffled thud due to the silencer, seeing her blood pouring down her skin, the life leave her eyes…he couldn't.

Amon dropped the gun and once he did her struggles began anew.

"Robin, please," he whispered, leaning close and cupping her cheek in one hand. She leaned into him and closed her eyes.

"I don't want to be this way, Amon," she whimpered. "I don't."

"I know," he whispered, bending just a fraction of an inch to touch his lips to hers. She kissed him back gently, betraying none of the turmoil he knew lay just behind her closed lids. His hand slid down her cheek to her neck, fingertips running softly along the skin for a moment before clamping down over her delicate throat.

Her eyes snapped open and she gazed at him in horror as he pulled back slightly, fingers continuing to squeeze. Her hands fluttered weakly where he had bound them in front of her, but the spark that he expected to come never did. Her cheeks began to flush, but her eyes never left his face. Finally, after what seemed like hours, but he knew was only a few minutes, her hands ceased their fluttering, her eyes turned glassy…and still he squeezed. When it was too long for her to simply be passed out he reached down and felt her wrist for a pulse - nothing. His reached up and closed her eyes. Finally, his hand unclenched and she fell into a heap at his feet.

Amon clenched his jaw, turned and walked away.


	15. Denial

A/N - Thanks to Teenelizabeth and the UFO Awards for getting my WHR Muse up and running.

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_Letting you see through me now only consumes me._

Pages by 3 Doors Down

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"Amon? Amon, we need to stop," Robin murmured urgently.

"No, Robin."

The road continued to roll beneath them - the frightened girl never tore her eyes away from the man behind the wheel. Finally, it became too much.

"Amon, you are bleeding!" she exclaimed.

"I am fine," he hissed through gritted teeth.

She watched as the blood continued to flow steadily down the side of his face, soaking the collar of his shirt. Robin remained silent until she noticed he was trembling slightly.

"Amon, please! You are hurt and need care," she pleaded in a whisper, voice breaking.

"Shut up, Robin!" he snarled, urging the car faster.

Her lips began to move in silent prayer, but her eyes never left his face. What seemed like years later, the car finally slowed, then turned, and stopped in the parking lot of a large hotel. Amon sat for a moment, silent and still, breathing deeply. He pulled his wallet out and dropped it into her lap.

"Go get us a room."

Her eyes went wide. He never let her book the room. Ever. She hurried to do his bidding, rushing back to find him leaning against the side of the car, gun in hand, their bags at his feet. Upon seeing her he hefted them up onto one shoulder and swayed alarmingly. She practically ran the few remaining yards that separated them and attempted to tug the bags from his grip.

She gasped when he let them go. He never let her carry his bag. Ever.

"Amon?"

"I need you to cover us," he whispered, putting his gun away with hands that shook, and her breath caught in her throat.

"Amon?" she whimpered. "You need a doctor."

"No," he rasped. "I'll be fine once we get to the room."

She knew better than to argue. He stepped close, wrapping an arm around her back and leaning on her slightly, she snaked an arm about his waist, supporting him as they made their way in the side door and up the stairs to their room. Once they were inside he collapsed onto the edge of the closest bed, leaning against the wall and closing his eyes.

Robin grabbed a towel from the bathroom and pressed it to his head – the clock caught her eye and she blinked at it. How could only fifteen minutes have passed? Surely he had been injured for hours…

"You need a doctor," she repeated.

"Head wounds look worse than they are. The injury is nothing."

"Then why are you pale and shaky? Why did you need help just to get in the room?" she persisted stubbornly.

His eyes snapped open and he jerked the towel from her grasp, fixing her with a steely glare that caused her to retreat a step.

The determination fell from her face. "Why won't you let me care for you?"

He studied her a moment before slowly standing and grabbing his bag.

"It is not your place to do so."

He reached out and lightly ran his fingertips across her forehead, turning his hand slightly to smooth the back of his fingers down her cheek and finally ghosted his thumb along her lips before moving into the bathroom and shutting the door.

Robin sat on the edge of the bed, heart caught in her throat. It was only the second time he had ever used that gesture and she still had no idea exactly what he meant by it.

When he finally emerged from the bathroom she had to admit – he looked a bit better. He had washed the gore from his face, bandaged the gash and changed clothes, but his pallor was still sickly and his movements were slower, less fluid than usual. Amon dropped his bag beside his bed and sank back onto it, closing his eyes.

"Come here," he said softly, and Robin immediately moved to hover nervously by the bed.

He stared up at her and grabbed her hand, tugging her to sit on the edge of the bed.

"See, I'm fine," he said, giving her a look that was not exactly a smile, but was not the usual hard expression he wore either.

"You don't look _that_ fine," she muttered sullenly.

Amon sighed, the scowl returning, and moved to a sitting position. He tugged the bandage away and turned so that Robin has a good view of his face.

"See?"

Robin gasped, "But…you were bleeding so much, and it the wound was so wide…"

"I told you head wounds look worse than they are."

"This…this looks days old."

"Your view of it was not the best."

"I know what a fresh wound looks like. This isn't one."

"I heal fast."

"Too fast," she whispered. "Amon? Amon, are you awakening? This could be part of your power."

"No."

"But it could be! You are a seed."

His face drew into a dark scowl and he forced out, "I am not awakening."

"All right," she replied indulgently.

"Get ready for bed," he ordered.

"Do you need anything?"

"You to go to bed," he growled, laying back and closing his eyes.

Sighing, she changed into her nightclothes, but instead of lying down she sat cross legged in the middle of her mattress and glued her eyes to his sleeping form.


	16. Attraction

Disclaimer: Not mine! The last chapter wasn't mine either, haha.

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_A pulse, a pulse, it's the only thing I can remember…_

If There's a Rocket Tie Me To It - Snow Patrol

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Amon's eyes fell once more to Robin's legs as she crossed and uncrossed them, uncomfortable and self conscious in the knee length pencil skirt. He quickly averted his gaze and mentally berated himself for looking at her yet again in a less than platonic matter. He sighed as she continued to fidget, now tugging at her hair which hung free of its bindings.

"Robin," he admonished quietly.

"Amon?" she questioned, eyebrows drawing together.

"Sit still," he replied, feeling much like a parent scolding a child. He had to admit that it was much safer to think of her that way and managed to focus his attention there - that is until she stood and walked to the window.

"What are you doing?" he asked, eyes glued to the swaying of her hips and the way the skirt hugged her backside instead of hiding it like the Victorian dresses she favored did.

"Just looking out. Can't I please change?" she begged, turning to look at him.

"No. You are too recognizable," he replied, eyes once more on her face where they should be.

Her lower lip jutted out in a pout.

"After we get the photos made for the identification you can change back."

The lip withdrew.

"But if your hair draws attention to us I _will_ cut it off."

Her eyes widened and she turned back to the window - Amon fought to repress a smirk. She soon came back to sit beside him, tracing designs on the tabletop with one slender finger.

The man studied her, pondering why he was so drawn to her - she was not close to his age and experienced like Touko, neither was she cold and beautiful like Kate…instead she was young and awkward, lovely and naïve. She was all the things he said he would never be enamored by, yet he was.

And that was a problem.


	17. Contradiction

Disclaimer - Still not mine.

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_If you don't expect too much from me, you might not be let down…_

- Hey Jealousy, Gin Blossoms

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He couldn't take the staring anymore. The girl's eyes were always glued to him, filled with hope and affection and other unreadable emotions that shouldn't be there. A smile, miniscule but real, often played over her lips as her eyes bore into him. She made him…a thousand different things and none of them good.

Amon longed to kill the hope, the trust, the naked adoration she radiated. Sometimes, as she gazed at him so adoringly, he itched to raise his hand, to strike her, to hear the satisfying thwack as his palm met her smooth cheek…to see the dangerous emotions fly off her face to be replaced by safer, more realistic ones.

Neither could he stand the constant dependence, the way she needed him all the time, every day, week after week. The way her eyes followed him fearfully when he escaped for a drink at night... the way they were the first things he saw when he returned, hours later, regardless of the time.

He toyed with the idea of leaving her, not for good, just for a while, to see what she would do so far away from anywhere familiar. Even the last time he left her she had not been totally alone - he had sent her to a safe place via the slip of paper tucked into her hair.

Still…as annoyed as she was making him he couldn't bring himself to actually do it, to betray her in such a way. Amon did not want her to turn suspicious and mistrusting and bitter. He did not want to be the thing that turned her into a Witch.


End file.
